Dear Ellie,
I am getting married in May, I still haven't chosen my bridesmaids.
My Mum and Aunty want me to have my sister and cousin as bridesmaids. I don't really get on with either of them, I only see my sister if we are at my parents house at the same time and the last time I spoke to my cousin was at a family members funeral. When I finished university I stayed in Newcastle with my two best friends, we lived together for 4 years, until I got engaged and me and my fiancé moved to Harrogate. I want my best friends to be my bridesmaids, and my oldest friend from school to be my maid of honour. But my Mum keeps saying its not about me its about family. When I was at my parents house last week my sister was there, she kept saying things like, you better not put me in a big puffy dress and I don't like pink. That was the first time I had seen her in about 8 weeks. We used to get on ok, but if I don't text her she never bothers with me, she doesn't include me in anything and didn't tell me when she moved house. She has always made nasty comments about how my fiancé dresses and his hobbies. My mum said she would like to buy my wedding dress and the bridesmaid dresses, I don't need her to, but happy for her do it. Now she is paying she keeps saying that she has a say in my dress and who my bridesmaids are and she's not paying for none family members bridesmaids dresses. I really don't know what to do.
Kim, 27
Harrogate
Dear Kim,
Weddings can be very exciting to plan, but they can also cause disagreements and stress. I have had lots of conversations over the years, mainly with women about wedding day regrets, its a special day that will mean the most to you and your soon to be husband.
On a scale of 0-10, 0 being no control, 10 being perfect control, how in control do you feel? If it is low, what can you do to take back control. It is your wedding (well and your fiancés) so take control, if you want your friends to be bridesmaids ask them. Share the day with who you want to. At the end of the day your wedding is about you and your fiancé. There may be some difficult conversations, you can't control how people will behave once you tell them your plans, but you can control how you behave.